30 May 2012

i have to .. :'(

  whow ! what is this ? what happen outside until i cant go out ? huh , -.- its happen again. love hurt me once again. yes ! im trying to keep it safe from broken but i just cant ! im not strong enough to face this hurt. i have to let it go. look at the picture. if i were strong enough , i would use all my energy to run as fast as possible to catch that ' thing ' but i just cant. something hold onto me. i feel like someone told me to just let it go. you know how much it hurt to leave someone that you really love right ? that how i feel. ~.~ i've lost it just now . uuuurrrwwwaaa !! i think i want to cry a lot ! :'( i realize that i cant catch it back. i want it came to me by itself. i dont want to find it anymore. i want it find me. :|

 boy , i know you hurt too . i feel so sorry to you. but i think you've made a right decision. you are too good, too nice and too kind for a person who is too cruel for you. i admit i still love you and will always love you ! but i know you not feel the same as i am. its okay. not longer than now , pandai la juga saya terima kenyataan . i just need to say that im so sorry for all the mistake that i have done to you. i hope you can accept my apologize.

Pinnie ! dont cry please . :( huh, tears really cant stop flowing from my eyes. ( habis la air mata ) haha xD Pinnie , listen. you have to be brave, you have to be stronger. Please accept what have you done. This was all your fault. so you dont have to regret for it. You are the one who make this happen, why should you cry for ? just accept this. all you have to do is be brave be strong. always smile and continue your life. just think that its never happen at all. - BE STRONG ! -

29 May 2012

i have to face it !

today i had an opportunity to update my blog. this blog is abandoned already. poor bloggie ~.~
sorry to say, i have no mood to post something here. even i have time to online but i really lazy to update even enter my blog. what type of blogger oo me ? -.- fine, after a lot of days facing many problems. today i have to shout it here. before that i need to say thank you to our technology for giving us an online diary which we can express our feeling and our burden.

there is so much happen to me on this may. my 2012 teenage life is full about love. huh , love come anytime and anywhere. and this love really make me a little bit confuse and tidak tentu arah. saya sedar perubahan diri saya sekarang. now i like to sit alone and if i may i dont want to talk to anybody else. love really makes me hurt. sometimes i think i want to be a ' single lady ' but i dont know why. i just cant ! i dont want to leave someone or anything. let them leave me. 

haha! dont you think that it is funny ? love really makes me hurt but i dont know why i dont want to leave that ' thing '. my life is incomplete without it. now a days, we always arguing even about a small thing. i was really sad when he mad at me like im the one who is always wrong. sometimes he the one who start it first but he never admit it. i always mengalah if he mad at me but if saya tidak tahan already i mad him back. 

himh, its hard to believe each other when we are far apart. like before, when i had a camping. he text me but i was so busy and got no time to reply his message. i dont know what on his mind and mad at me suddenly. i explain to him that i was really busy but he didnt believe me and accused me that i am searching for someone else. grrrr !! ~.~ can you please understand me please ?? :| 

hey, i got this feeling. i feel like our relationship is no longer ~.~ yes , i can feel it. saya berusaha sudah mau jaga bagus-bagus but .... HUH ! its hard to explain. i can't blame him 100 percent. but most of this problem came from himself. hey boy, i always want to avoid us from arguing about something. but i have a feeling too. i cant take it when you say something nonsense about me. so sorry ~.~ im trying to understand you now.

- i was hoping that you understand me too -